there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
