your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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