hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
