everyone is single if you try hard enough
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
