im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My vagina is officially offended.
Randomize