In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
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all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.