God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
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They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
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Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far