before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...