TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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