I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
