Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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