I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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