When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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