Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
