Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
