Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
