hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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