In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
