her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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