Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
