i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
