Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
