you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize