hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
