But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
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i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
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She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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