You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
