woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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