my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
is wine microwaveable?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Randomize
