he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
