Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
