What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
