Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
