everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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