hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So apparently I’m into choking now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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