I am puke
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i think im in europe. pls send help
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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