i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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