The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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