if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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