I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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