I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
