He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
