Three words: puerto rican gang bang
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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