we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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