i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
