just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
