Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
