i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
