Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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