I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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