i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
