Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I think my vagina is haunted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize