Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
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yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize