So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
as a side note pls kill me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
