The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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