What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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