Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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