Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
