Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
