Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
im holly from the hills drunk
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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