i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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