whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
