so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
