Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
