Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
