just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
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