I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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