in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
