hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So many bounce houses so little time
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
